12 hours left in chandi

it is 3:17 am and i am tired.
i was compiling photos for a dvd, and its all set and i can go to bed in peace.
today was mayhem--shopping, tea, and cake with natasa, then meeting up with bibha, a close friend and co-worker/supervisor, before we went to ramdarbar to say goodbye to sonia and a few other women. they were so, so sweet--slipping bangles onto my wrists, a mix of hindi and words like "love" and "miss" and "remember." how could i not...
ramdarbar still holds so much beauty in my eyes--scenes i try to imprint in my mind so i wont forget them: a woman in a purple sari, smiling at me over her shoulder, boys sitting on a brick wall flying a kite, a girl in a navy blue school uniform holding one single yellow flower. on and on and i was trying to soak it all up, images and colors and forms and fabrics stored up like in a savings account.
it poured, which made everything trickier. we met two of her friends, ankur and sumit, for lunch. great conversation, funny and easygoing. bibha helped me buy a chapati pan (a tava) after that and we sat in a park and folded paper cranes, a tradition we started on bus rides in the afternoons or evenings coming home.
then packing and that last entry until piyush picked me up and we had dinner at his place with his family--his mom taught me how to make naan at home, which is nothing less than a miracle of innovation. and deliciousness...i love seeing where someone is from, their family and home, their friends, their past.
another hard goodbye before spending the rest of the evening with @ers and interns at mocha, our beloved sofa-infested hangout. so many hugs, rounds of trying to say enough, too much, at once.
its not enough time, to meet people who are so amazing, and have so little time with them before everyone sets off back home. we all signed up for it willingly, but it still sucks.
i am aching inside, i dont feel like its enough. not when you have just begun to feel like a part of a place, like you are potentially useful in a community. and then you have to leave.
im meeting ramesh, another surya staffer, at 10 am to say goodbye, then hanging with the @ers from 12-1:30 before leaving to catch the 3 pm flight to delhi. at 4 pm, ill taxi over to anshul's grandparents' house to have dinner with them and the family, before catching the 1 am flight to nyc.
i knew it would fly by, and it did. im still disappointed i didnt have some ability to slow it all down...

yearbook turkey

one of my best friends, annamarie, claims that i am a yearbook turkey. as in, every year in high school when summer vacation came around, and we passed out yearbooks--i would do the whole, "this is why i appreciate you and what you mean to me..." kind of note for everyone. true, very true. i no longer try to deny this (though i once did). and here's a bit, because it's 6:55 pm the day before i leave india, the house is empty, im writing sugar cubes (notes of appreciation in @ talk. surprise surprise.) and i do feel rather appreciative.

thanks for...

laughing. the eb. past lcps that have become great role models to me (especially tough, independent, smart, sassy female ones who are going off to study and work and live the dream in london!). humoring me by allowing me to take massive amounts of photos. but mainly...for all the laughing, the jokes, the poking fun, the cultural stereotyping amusement we @ers take so much pride in...i love how candid this is (though obviously the matching outfits aren't).

allowing me to be an chandigarh @er. for hours spent under the sun at promotions, talking this organization up. oh, you guys have no idea how much ill miss you, the chats, the whining about prices of mangoes, how you helped me reserve a taxi the night before our shimla trip...

mangoes and cooking in the 37 kitchen with eps. for al and dosas at 10 pm and vanilla ice cream and kheer and feeding ourselves and learning to be self-sufficient (and maintain a semi-balanced diet). for allowing me to be independent in a way i have never experienced before. for showing me how far i can push myself.

the world. more specifically, canada, china, the uk, lebanon, kenya, japan, the us, poland, the netherlands, belgium, indonesia, brazil, south korea, mauritius, and the beautiful people from those beautiful places.

my 37 house family. for pauline and her constant support since day 1, hour 1 for the matter, and her mosquito repellent that has saved my life. nith and his salinger and requests for cycle rickshaws to race each other for more rupees. al and his ability to share meals with me because of our shared interest in food and saving money. ola and her long work hours, but persistent energy and enthusiasm to go out for a cold coffee with the gang. ganda for kata kata kanlah sayung bila binar binar...cinta. and piero for his chinese, his endless fruit supply, his love affair with ozone, and lastly (but not leastly?) his mumbai future.

rare indian sunsets that have taken my breath away. for kristina, her yoga moves, and the rooftop of the house as we jumped around in pure happiness.

al's new girlfriend. enough said.

elephants and art museums. for friends that put up with my silliness and (who knew?) maybe, possibly, even enjoy it (hah! piero, admit it. you think i'm funny...). but you know, mainly for elephants...