12 hours left in chandi

it is 3:17 am and i am tired.
i was compiling photos for a dvd, and its all set and i can go to bed in peace.
today was mayhem--shopping, tea, and cake with natasa, then meeting up with bibha, a close friend and co-worker/supervisor, before we went to ramdarbar to say goodbye to sonia and a few other women. they were so, so sweet--slipping bangles onto my wrists, a mix of hindi and words like "love" and "miss" and "remember." how could i not...
ramdarbar still holds so much beauty in my eyes--scenes i try to imprint in my mind so i wont forget them: a woman in a purple sari, smiling at me over her shoulder, boys sitting on a brick wall flying a kite, a girl in a navy blue school uniform holding one single yellow flower. on and on and i was trying to soak it all up, images and colors and forms and fabrics stored up like in a savings account.
it poured, which made everything trickier. we met two of her friends, ankur and sumit, for lunch. great conversation, funny and easygoing. bibha helped me buy a chapati pan (a tava) after that and we sat in a park and folded paper cranes, a tradition we started on bus rides in the afternoons or evenings coming home.
then packing and that last entry until piyush picked me up and we had dinner at his place with his family--his mom taught me how to make naan at home, which is nothing less than a miracle of innovation. and deliciousness...i love seeing where someone is from, their family and home, their friends, their past.
another hard goodbye before spending the rest of the evening with @ers and interns at mocha, our beloved sofa-infested hangout. so many hugs, rounds of trying to say enough, too much, at once.
its not enough time, to meet people who are so amazing, and have so little time with them before everyone sets off back home. we all signed up for it willingly, but it still sucks.
i am aching inside, i dont feel like its enough. not when you have just begun to feel like a part of a place, like you are potentially useful in a community. and then you have to leave.
im meeting ramesh, another surya staffer, at 10 am to say goodbye, then hanging with the @ers from 12-1:30 before leaving to catch the 3 pm flight to delhi. at 4 pm, ill taxi over to anshul's grandparents' house to have dinner with them and the family, before catching the 1 am flight to nyc.
i knew it would fly by, and it did. im still disappointed i didnt have some ability to slow it all down...